Driving home from the airport last night, it took me 10 minutes to realize I was heading in the wrong direction on the freeway. I was in National City before it dawned on me that I should be on the 5 North, not the 5 South.
This afternoon at work I dialed my home number when I meant to call somebody else and was startled to hear my wife answer on the other end.
I routinely fall asleep in my living room watching TV after the kids have gone to bed, then wake up at 3:30 AM with a sore neck and a headache and drag myself into a bed that by that point is invariably already filled with one grown adult and two young children.
I thought I would be able to work from home tomorrow but I can't, I have to drive up to LA for a meeting. This weekend we have a five year old's pool party to look forward to on Saturday. And another five year old's pool party to look forward to on Sunday.
I'm fucking tired. My wife is even more fucking tired. Our kids, it seems, are never tired.
I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong. Alright, I am complaining. I'd like to have a nice romantic dinner with my wife. I'd like to get a full night's sleep. I'd like to spend a lazy Sunday reading the New York Times from cover to cover.
WAH!! POOR ME!! I'M SO TIRED!! WAH!!
Yeah, I feel like I shouldn't be complaining. It feels self-indulgent and ungrateful and juvenile. I'm not suffering, I'm just whining, and I feel like I have to temper those complaints with a declaration that I'm happy about the choices I've made. I am grateful for my life and I don't take it for granted. I want my children to healthy and young and crazy and demanding, I want to be challenged by my job, I want to be busy.
But I'm just really fucking tired today. And if that's my biggest complaint, that I really should be grateful, I suppose. So take this as a giving of thanks rather than a complaint, then. Take it however you want. Take it up your ass for all I fucking care.
Whoa, where did that come from? Sorry. I'm going to go ahead and not delete that sentence because it just made me laugh out loud. I can't offer profundity every day.
Did I mention I was tired?
I think you were subconsciously heading south to the border for a reason. Next time, think about taking me with you!
ReplyDeleteA triple mocha latte and Wilco's live albim perked me up sufficiently for the drive, but thanks for the concern, David. I try to be mindful of the burnout.
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